NateBullock.com

The Middle Class Does Get Screwed…and Other Thoughts

I received the following note from a concerned reader; we’ll call her Jane. She wrote as a response to my recent series on Child Support, Enforcement and Poverty:

I just got done reading Nate’s blog, My question is yes, Single parenthood sucks, I’ve seen how it effects people first hand but you are at least able to get child support of some sort. The government has a hand in this. But what about those of us who got screwed by their parents because they are just as low income but make just too much for their kid to get any money for schooling.

I don’t think people focus on those middle class Americans that have been screwed. Maybe focus on that? Just an idea.

Jane is right. Middle class American’s get screwed…a lot, and state sponsored child services is not the only area. This past year, the middle class watched as the tax dollars they pay to the government were used to bail out homeowners who had bought more house than they could afford. Many middle class Americans felt cheated. After all, where was their reward for being responsible citizens? They received none. Rather, higher taxes will likely be required to help pay for the bailouts.

What about private/public school funding? In Indiana, if you pay for your kids to attend a private school, the State does nothing to offset your taxes, even though you’re paying for OTHER people’s children to attend school. The left often retorts that “we shouldn’t take money from schools,” all the while taking money from hard working Hoosiers who are paying double (sometimes triple) on top of their taxes to afford their children a better education. Why not give some tax relief to those parents who opt-out of public education in favor of private education? Because the middle class gets screwed…that’s why.

In addition, what about college scholarships, Pell grants, publicly funded transportation, and police funding? All of these and more are paid in large part by the members of society who are not able to, or do not have to, avail themselves of the services provided.

If that’s all Jane had written, I might ask her out for drinks because we agree on so much, but Jane also said this:

At 18 I was told find a way to make it, I wasn’t able to get any money for schooling as my parents made to much and pretty much was told your screwed, will have to work full time go to school full time and try to make it.

Our pending relationship has already lost its luster Jane.

I’ll quote Coldplay in a ‘white-boy-from-the-suburbs-way’ of communicating what every single-parent (including myself) realized roughly 2 minutes after their child was born: “Nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard.”

But then again, we DO know how hard it is. It’s no secret that some guys are deadbeats and don’t stick around. Nor is it a mystery that having sex could induce pregnancy. Sometimes single dads get ransacked with responsibilities simply because the government feels it’s a moral obligation for the father to “pay” for his decisions. But it was the mothers decision too…and mothers everywhere know that their man might not be around forever and they may have to fend for themselves. They know it. The media knows it. The government knows it. “Nobody said it would be this hard” because nobody needed to say it; it’s obvious that being  a parent is hard.

When you play with fire, sometimes you get burned. I played with it, and I still have to put aloe on each night from the BUUURN….but you know what? I don’t care. My daughter IS my world. The struggles I deal with are well worth it if it makes her happy and ensures her health and well-being. You’re right…life IS harder. Money IS tighter. Schedules ARE more hectic. But I’m an adult and I can at least understand that I did this to myself.

Nobody said single parents would be able to do all they would’ve been able to do had they stayed non-pregnant (that’s kind of a funny sentence…). Usually what people ’said’ was “don’t have sex until you’re married” or “use condoms” or “be gay”….lol ok…nobody says the way to avoid pregnancy is to become gay…although I’d bet it’s %100 effective!

Long story short, you’re not screwed…you just decided to do some screwing and are now reaping both the benefits (I’m sure your child is lovely!) AND the drawbacks. At the end of the day however, you won’t get any sympathy from me on the struggles. My baby-mama graduated university in 5 years with two children while working less-than part-time on meager state assistance all while maintaining a B+ average. She had a lot of help, I’ll admit. But she worked her ass off too.

Nobody told her it would be easy…but she didn’t care that is was going to be hard. She got through it. She’s a model for single parents everywhere.